The New School (Hip Hop SVA)

Listening to the new ASAP Rocky and consuming the Pro Era mix tape like it really was '96 makes me think a lot about this New School of Hip Hop and how it really is their time. My generation, the ones who are the same age as the genre, are having a hard time letting go and letting "them young boys" do their thing. It's funny. Hypercritical as hell. But funny at the same time.

I'll never forget being a Hip Hop kid back in the day. Football games in high school, hanging out with friends listening to tapes, chilling in parking lots. Listening to music and being amazed at how it sounded so fresh and new. I'm happy this generation is having the same experience and it's kind of lame for my age group to tell them how to be knowing we hated the same thing being said to us.

Our parents did the same. Most of our young ears didn’t realize the music we were so hopped on was recycled from previous eras. And even that music was recycled from a previous ones. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned creativity stands on the shoulders of others and life is about the moment. You are inspired by the past but life is about the present. That is where you create. The present is all that matters.

Trust me. I’m a master of being caught up in the past or in not living in the moment because of some far off future shit that may or may not happen. Believe me. As someone who makes part of their living from planning it's very easy to get caught up in the future. And as someone who wants a lot out of their life and their creativity, it's very easy to get caught up in shoulda woulda choices and maybe if I thoughts.

And this is precisely why I love this generation. They live in the current moment. Their moment. And it AWESOME!! They are everything I remember about that age except it's of their moment- their era.

This current crop of MCs, producers, and artists are talking about the experiences: living in a post race, post fuckign everything society. Even though it reminds me of my youth it's the present. At that age, if you told me what would happen how they would reinterpret, I would say bullshit. Mainly ‘cause, at that age I was back then, I would be so excited that what our experiences would live on and inspire others. That we would reach across the ether of space and time and speak directly to a generation of kids who while different are still like us. Moved by their excitement. Driven by passion. Sharing their truths. So many years later it would still be around.

I remember many conversations with my non hip hopper, i.e. white suburb friends, saying how rap music was a phase, that it would die. That Hiip Hop wasn't a culture. How the music took no skills.

Was there harassment back then too? Of course. We were black males teens. Public enemy number one. There was no official stop and frisk, but it happened. It sucked. It was rough. We hated it. We put it in our music and in our art. We danced it out to the bass lines and lyrics of our favorite MCs that spoke directly to our experience.

Here we are many decades later. Life is the same and life is different. So it's really back to being the same. The only constant in life is change. I would add something to that, “and human experience has been the same for thousands of years.” Technology has only pushed cycles faster, but we still love, cry, hurt, yearn for more than we are at the moment. Want to know who were are and create identities out of whatever we can.

I'm reminded of that young kid through these young kids. I am excited because of their excitement. I live in my own present because their present is so bright, so real. It makes me remember this is what we dreamed would happen. Not only this New School and their moment, but our own current moments. Being older, being grown, our lives, pursuing our dreams.

Currently I'm in a place where my life will change dramatically within the next couple of because of the conversations and meetings I have in place. It's an amazing time and I thank this new school for reminding me that life is lived in the present. I thank them for reminding me when it’s your moment you have to go for it. You have to live.

I am super thankful for the soundtrack they created for this moment in time. As much as I love the music from my era it's nice to be reflective while still being present.

So go out. Listen to these incredible artists making history before our eyes. And once you do let's chat it up and talk music, art, and living life.

- Till Then

A One And A Two

Today I try something again that I haven't done in many years. I go back on stage and try to make a room full of people I don't know laugh. At jokes. That I write. And somehow get on stage to perform them.

Now this might not feel like a big deal to others, especially to my stand up friends with balls of steel. But that clearly is not me, as the last time I did this scared me so bad I ran and didn't look back for thirteen years.

Ok. That's a slight exaggeration. I have thought about it may times. Many many times. Stand up is an amazing thing, it's like a single person sport, up there with the greats like boxing, chess, or karate. I would say wrestling but the idea of my head between a sweaty guys legs is not really a good look. You get the gist though. It's this solo thing- just you and that other person, persons in this case. And that's it. On stage. Alone. Pretty scary.

It's like triggering an existential dilemma for no damn good reason.

They say stand up comedians are all crazy. Not sure about that, but not I'm not a stand up comic yet, so maybe I'll let you know once I actually become one. Or maybe I won't. Crazy people don't know they're crazy.

That being said, the stage is a great place to work out many things. Fears about talking in public being one of them. I mean if public speaking is hard to do imagine bombing a whole set. Now imagine doing that more than once. Yeah. Intense. Even more so you get to work through "issues." Love that word. So loaded. We all have them and what better place to work them out then in a public forum, in front of a group of people you don't know, trying to make them laugh. So yeah. Maybe I am a little crazy. Or at least neurotic.

Bear with me.

In a previous post I mentioned resolutions. Hence me even writing this. One of them was to write more, especially this blog. Free flowing, stream of consciousness, not looking back, except of course to edit, but even then not too much. (I'm still really bad at spelling. I still think it's a gene. Science will prove it one day.)

 I started blogging to move past the fear of writing. Fears are best faced head on like any other bully or villain. "Will it be good? Will it be bad? What will people think?"

That's my internal editor. He's like a mix of the Riddler and the Joker. A combination of a cackling mad man with the ruthless calculations of a genius master mind; with all questions leading back to a hog tied, paranoid Chris chained to a chair in an abandoned bank vault with dynamite underneath. Yeah, my self editor is old school like that.

So I got tired of dealing with them, him, it, whatever.  I decided I won't be intimidated by my fears anymore. I shot back at my internal editor with Batman eyes. You know the ones from cartoons where he looks at the screen and squints really really hard.

Yeah. Those.

You get to a certain age and you just say ok, enough. Whether it's school, bis, or other things in your life there, comes a moment when you have gone around the same loop enough to know that if you don't get off the ride nothing will ever change.

So I decided to squint back. Actually I said "Dude, fuck you! Get some balls and let's go do some shit. Time to live. Life is short."

Yes. By going on stage and embarrassing myself. Ha. Not really. By doing things that I have always wanted to do. But let little fears creep in and stop me from doing. So the blog, doing stand up, all these forms of public self expression are great tools for dealing with my "stuff". The little insecurities that plague us all, left over from flight or fight responses that aren't even real or at least not as big as we create them in our heads.

And I'm enjoying blogging, and while it's great for getting ideas i.e."the stuff" out, the stage allows you to really "move" through them. I mean literally. You actually move through them. It's the physicality of the performance that actually moves the stuff out of you. After all, most "stuff" is just fear or an issue you didn't talk about. So again, what better way get it out than to shine a gigantic light on it. In this case a spot light.

 I'm looking forward to climbing back on stage and tackling the boogie man that ran me out of town thirteen years ago like Simba in the Lion King. And like Simba I have reluctantly returned to my birthright to stare my old enemy, Scar, in the face.

Yes a little heady, but it's true. I like comedy, not so sure about performing, but I love to make people laugh. I've been that way all my life. Maybe I'll like performing too. The goal is not to put a value around it, good or bad. Just do it. See how it goes.

Part of the process of growing is to just do it. As Maslow said, "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be."

I'm learning it's not so much about being the next Eddie Murphy or whomever, it's about becoming whatever it is you are meant to be and making peace with that. Not letting fears and insecurities stop you from becoming that beautiful transcendent thing.

Most of all I am enjoying tackling the fears of my youth and probably gaining some new phobias along the path to becoming the man I truly want to be. So it's ok, I plan to work those out in my 50's when I give all this up and pursue that Jazz career that I left behind as a middle school trumpet player.

Hopefully I'll see you at an open mic as I'm work shopping a comedy set or a few years down the road at a small jazz club while I'm playing the piano. We'll see about the latter.

- Til Then

Embarssment (Including misspelling this post)

The last week or so I have been face to face with the beast that is embarrassment  I've been on both sides of it too, embarrassing myself to someone and also had someone embarrass themselves to me. It was was exhilarating.

What is about embarrassment that makes you act, well embarrassed?  You don't know you're embarrassing yourself while you do it, unless you are bombing on stage doing a stand up bit and didn't even realize you got on stage 'cause your friends told you this was a karaoke bar. More about that later.

Or maybe you do. Maybe, on some level, in these monkey brains of ours, we know exactly what we're doing. You get into that zone and all you can say is "I'm just going to push through this like a three year and a giant birthday cake with no parental supervision"' knowing that on the other side your'e going to be a ok. You'll probably feel like a nimrod for a while, but that's ok!!

So how did I embarrass myself? Hmmm... The usual, drinking, girls, texting  pictures of myself naked, accidentally posting them on Facebook where my mom could see them and ask me what the hell I was up to in NY to which I responded trying to make you some grand babies.

And the other way you ask? Who embarrassed themselves to me and how? Hmmm... the usual. Drinking, girls, pictures of myself naked. This one even involved a dinner party (fancy I know) and someone who just met me, like a cosmic serendipitous rom com of which I was the unfortunate star, as they threw themselves at me over the course of seven meals. It was awesome to say the least. Somehow they embarrassed "themselves". IDK. I told her in the most discrete way possible, "Yes it is cold, so that does 'affect' things."

But embarrassment is great. It makes man up and face your own your fears i.e. BS. Or woman up, I'm an equal opportunity embarrasser. In that moment you see that all that fear were pointless to begin with. "It's not so bad in jail. In fact it's quite comfy. No. Larry. No... your hand doesn't go there."

Even more so, doing something that pushes you is great. Like facing up to that bully at work that keeps eating your hot pockets. Or going on stage and telling horrible jokes. Trust me, they are even more less funny on stage with strangers who look like they want to eat you, then telling them to your cat, Mortimer, who really couldn't be bother either. You gotta work it through it, either way.

At the end of the day you gotta go for it is all I'm saying. Embarrassment is often what happens when you do something that part of you (your ego, I put it in parenthesis so he won't get started, ugh, he's annoying) yells out "Hey asshole, you REALLY shouldn't have done that! No I gotta clean this crap up. How are people going to think of us? What are they going to say. Blah. Blah. Blah." and your ego is smarting as a result.

The problem is the ego is not really smart, he' stupid. So why listen to someone that was never smart to begin with, that only thinks he is because of, well, ego. Look at it like this, ego is like that dumb kid in grade school that knew the answer to every question but was always wrong. Yeah, him. And the problem with ego is he keeps you from doing some great things, because he's afraid of falling. Again, see above, not as bad as you think it will be, except for Larry, he really was kind of gross.

So just deal with it. Take the ego by the hand, tell it to shut the fuck up and jump over that threshold that's holding you back. Cause life without embarrassment means you haven't "dared", which is not living and not living is death. And we got plenty of time for that.

That's enough soul bearing for me today. I'll be doing more soon.

- Til Then

Out With The...

Ah, it's that time again, New Years. A time for reflecting and doing, cleaning and purging, drinking and... drinking.

Hmmmm. The one thing it's definitely time for is New Years Resolutions and I have many things to resolve. I figured as much out as I purged the old apt of everything that pissed me off from years past including the horrible mystery meat in the fridge that started this horrible Scrooge metaphor.

Yes I ate it. No it didn't kill me. Yes I wish it hadn't.  No, the Ghost of Christmas Past and I are not cool for a while. When you're throwing away old shit and he keeps telling you to keep it, cause he's a frigging pack rat, you tend to get on each others nerves. And he's a little whinny... well anyway. You get where I'm coming from. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Where was I. Yes. The resolutions. As any other sane man in the Western World would , I have promised to do many things over the next year. Many of which, like any reasonable man in the Western World, should fall by the way side, mid- What day is today?

So with that, let's begin.

One (several) of my issues have to do with my parents. I don't really have any. Issues. Not parents. With them. Of course I have issues. They're still here. The Issues. Yes. And parents too. Who's on first?

Anyway. I'm grown and that stuff needs to be left in your mid twenties. Other than that they really have to step up their game on creating BS in my adult life. Not even one complaint about not having any grandkids yet. ::sigh::

Second, I need to resolve a few of the issues left over from my childhood. In particular- my Transformers collection  It's still at my mom's house. Again, parent non-issue, issues. For God's sake Mom, regular parents would have thrown that crap away twenty years ago. Sheesh.

Back to the TF issue. I'm really thinking my book case needs that original edition Metroplex, standing guard protecting it from the many nuisances of bookcase life. Case in point, the horde of Giant Dust Bunnies that threaten to destroy the sovereign cleanliness of the Middle Shelf Spaces of any NY apt.

Third, why is there always a third with human beings, can't we be happy enough with two. I know a few scientist that could tell you why but we're just gong to go with it.

Third, a little more separation of church and state, friends and other friends, and friends and ketchup. I meant fries and ketch up. Really mayonnaise more so than ketchup. I'm a sauces on the side, dipping kind of guy. Unless it's ketchup, then I like pour directly on the fries. But not too much, the taste can get a little overwhelming. And then only thin fries. The fat ones, you gotta have the ketchup up on the side. Trust me on this one.

Back to the point, which is doing and not doing. See, the thirds thing again. Yes. Yes. It doesn't  exactly line up, it was kind of a four thing- but my point is to separate the doing from the not doing. Well it's not really my point. Please skip to the next paragraph. The argument is better constructed there.

Here is my point AND wish for those reading. May you all begin the process of separating the things (activities, friendships, endeavors, et cetera) that bring value to your life from the things that do not. I hope the New Year gives you the ability to focus on things that are moving you forward, allowing you to focus a little less those which are not.

We're only human, so many of those non value things are harder to stop than we think, mainly because as much as we swear them off we secretly love them. A blog for another time. As was my actual point about the need of separation so that the various spaces in your life can co-exist in a meaningful way... but this is a good place to end and try again next time, as is the New Years to end some things and try again with your goals and ambitions.

Cheers to your new years resolutions. May they last more than a week.

And with folks, I'm outtie like 3000. Even though Andre has made that saying that a little moot. But who's counting. Clearly I am.

- C (is for Cookie. And also Chris.)

The Great "Silver Bullet" Debate

I hear a lot of my creative friends speak of such much-acclaimed mythical beasts but never of any silver bullets to use when they magically appear. Yes. I am being vague, so let me explain.

In the creative community, especially my experience in visual art, film, and comic books, much is said about the mythical project that will come along and change everything. Or the pitch to someone who knows someone. This mythical beast will come in and make all said creator’s dreams come true.

What usually accompanies this mystical beast’s appearances is much fanfare: riches, fame, glory, and acknowledgement- the usual accoutrements of success. But he is special, this beast. For with him comes not only the acknowledgement of talent and recognition of a job well done, this mythical beasts also acknowledges the struggle for success AND the arduous path most artists undertake to achieve this glory.

As is plain to see, this is a wily beast indeed; full of guile, which often take many forms.

For the indie filmmaker, it the beast most often takes the form of a mythical connections and magical concepts that once realized or spoken aloud will bring hordes of legendary treasures: the Seven Figure Script Deal with a studio, an Agent of Love, for you and everything you do, and a the ** Manager who will ride and die for you like the Hip Hop weed carriers of yesterday.

Often these filmmakers have finished little: no polished script, no feature length anything, and at best a poorly concocted idea rarely takes into consideration ** tenants of marketing i.e. who is going to watch this and why. Real answers only please, not “because I would.”

These filmmakers often believe they can go in and do a napkin pitch, on the merits of their idea, hear a resounding yes. As much as I, and anyone doing this for a living, would like to believe in this (because secretly we all do, its how we wake up and do it all again in the morning), projects often need more than this to “magically” go through.

When confronted with this by peers, they often tell you mythical stories told around the creative campfire like tales of old. Much like the stories of gods and goddesses, these stories are nothing they have encountered themselves, but are told as if first hand experiences.

“Well yeah, and then he, I forget his name, but you know, the film last summer… yeah, it was totally sold in a coffee shop. Yeah. They invited them to the studio and the deal was signed. Crazy.”

While the stories are not quite as vague- wait, I lie to spare feelings. You know who you are, no need to protect the innocent. They usually are and sound about as silly.

Comic book creators fair a little better, but they have their own folly. Comic creative teams will often commit time and energy, and at least do sketches or initial development work. Often they will do sample pages. And while the materials may look great and be “cool”, it’s just materials for a solid pitch, which by itself is simply not enough.

What’s missing? Often two things: a) track record b) a fan base. Neither of which come without considerable effort.

First up is your track record, which consists of who you did what for, why, and how they felt about it. This is more than assembling your professional memoirs, or putting together a shiny portfolio.

What’s needed is a work history with other people, preferably companies one has heard. Though working with a big name company is not a prerequisite, the more known the better off you’ll be at the end of the day.

At the very least it needs to be a verifiable company that someone else runs. It shows that the someone is willing to pay for the creator ‘s work because it generates significant value for said company and increases that company’s own revenues.

It also gives you context and allows them to vette you and your reputation. Which is a good point to say, cultivate good references at all times. Some relationships don’t go as you want, but for those that do, get a quote or a references, Why do you think LinkedIn is so popular, but is about as fun as signing into MySpace.

These components are important because it gives people a context to understand you and your work.

You are never hired for just an idea. We are social creatures, and the hours spent working with anyone in professional environment are many and intense. Multiply that by as many numbers as you want in creative fields and it’s still not enough.

Even with best, well-oiled creative teams, personal dynamics are always in play. Everyone has days when they would rather not deal with the other people on their team- and that’s when they like one another other.

Second, a fanbase is prerequisite- even more important than your track record. How so? To be honest, a fanbase is a track record. It’s demonstrative. It’s tangible. It shows formal, bottom line, in the black thinking. And it shows that someone besides your mom likes and is willing to pay mullah your work.

Yeah. Yeah. I know you’ve got that. So what’s the big deal, right? Fans and a track record prove answer one simple question. Are you worth the risk?

It is your responsibility to go above and beyond, to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you are actually worth it. Even when it is apparent to you, the other person, who is not you, and totally lame for not understanding you, and doesn’t see your vision, well they doesn’t know you.

See how many times you and your were in the previous paragraph. Thin the exact opposite manner and you are on your way with this.

It’s your responsibility to get them to know you, your work, and whatever they need to say “Yes. I want to hire you. Let’s get started.”

I know. I know. The “above and beyond comment” is wack. What about the people who didn’t have to do that? What about the ones who just made it?

Yes. That is all true and it does happen. BUT. And this is a big butt (and I cannot lie. Sorry, way to easy) it is the exception, not the rule.

Without a track record, there is no buzz. Without buzz there are few opportunities, especially in an age of so much content white noise.

Am I saying that such luck breaks slash opportunities do not come about? No. Am I saying the opposite, the only way to get on is through the grind because no one ever gets a luck break? No.

The point I’m making is to be balanced and prepared for opportunities by creating a track record, growing an audience that will eventually become your fans, and yes work hard along the way.

When the mythical beast comes, and it will, your track record, your fans, and the experience you’ve gained and the passion you’ve sharpened, these are the silver bullets you need to slay the mythical monster when he shows up. Not Chance. Not Happenstance. They just bring him to your door because they recognize the markings you’ve put up. The rest is up to you.

Does that mean no more magical thinking? Not at all. I believe all the magic in the world is at your fingertips. You just have to accept it and move through the doorway to claim it.

Hope that helps in your own quest to be creative.

Till then.

- C

the King of Gaffes

I was out the other night celebrating a friend's birthday. We were all having a good ol'time. Shots were  downed. Dancing broke out all around. And of course there were several pretty ladies to whom we did our best impressions of "take me seriously."

While I'm not impervious to a few rounds of take me seriously, I usually sidestep a lot of it. This particular gal was lovely and a delight to speak with, as everyone's presence around her immediate vicinity seemed to denote. Somehow, as always happens with take me seriously, politics inevitably come up, as it is a subset of TMS.

As stated previously, I'm not particularly prone to rounds of TMS (especially in front of ladies) or politics for that matter. However, it was politely phrased in the form of a cock blocking question. And I paraphrase: "yo, what are you two talking about- politics!? Which everyone knows to be a challenge to your manhood, so who am I to resist such a delicately positioned proposal.

While it certainly was not my plan to do speak of politics in the conversation, this potential gaffe accusation on their part eventually lead us to the King of All Gaffe Makers, Mr. Mitt Romney, who was quickly brought up to be incompetent, or moron, or something of that sort. After all we were all stanky, no good liberals, and seeing as that is how we think, the conversation went down that path.

All that being said, I found myself defending Romney. Weird. I know. It felt weird. My goal was to impress the girl, not flirt with the GOP. Even though I'm sure the Grand Ol'Party must have cute girls too, they were not there... but I digress. My purpose in the conversation was to say Mitt is not a buffoon who doesn't know how to speak. No. Quite the opposite. Mitt is a man who knows exactly what he wants to say.

The problem is, as it is with many of us, he doesn't want to say it in a certain context, i.e. his current political spotlight. No offense to anyone, but Mitt, from what my liberal outlets tell me, is a bit of a jerk. I know, I'm being kind in my liberal description of Mr. Romney. What can I say my mom, raised me to be Southern Gentleman. 

Back to our pal, Mitt. The dude is just an ass, plain and simple. Maybe a I nice one once you get to know him, but the stuff he does and says, well it belies that sort of attitudes usually reserved for people that category. And the gaffes, they happen because his self-editor runs so high, he isn’t sure what to say, because his internal thermostat runs counter to everything he has to say and do in public as a politician. 

Everything knows and has done in his life as a tireless servant of capitalism, is different than what he has to say to keep us masses happy. Example, "you sucked at your job, you are now fired. Be gone." The problem is you can't fire the American people. I know. Mitt knows. It sucks. We all agree.

What does any of this have to do with running a presidential campaign (i.e. politics) and further more the party and beautiful lady!? 

Not much, except saying what you feel at the moment is important. Mitt is learning this. I'm learning from Mitt. Hopefully you are leaning this from me. Why? It will keep you from gaffing and coming off as more of douche than you are currently. 

Case in point, I didn't want to talk about politics,  as I often feign ignorance on these things. I wanted to make a point about people. I got some eye rolls from the guys dancing around the pretty lady. But I said what I needed to amd they proceeded to hit on her the rest of the night until such time they had to say their goodbyes and she immediately came back over to me to continue our conversation.

Only thing is she had a man of seven years. Guess I'm glad I didn’t say everything that was on my mind. Or else I might have left the party with a swollen lip. Just kidding. Unless you thought that last part was funny. And then I double mean it. 

-Till Then!

Blogger vs. Wordpress

So I haven't decided if I am going to make the big plunge to a Blogger account.

I am very partial to Wordpress. I have lots of cool photos up that I like. Which have been made completely useless by Tumblr. Thank you for screwing up my micro-blogging aspirations Tumblr team.

And while Google+ is a great integration feature for Blogger, Wordpress is that silky smoothness I expect online. Blogger still feels like a clunky counterpart, a Dell computer that desperately wants to be a Mac.

IDK. We'll see how it goes.